Came back from Sentosa at around 5pm today.
Actually left earlier for lunch with Clara, Nella and Lynette.
Had a blast at the beach, I got a tan AND a sun burn, how nice.
Shoulders are like in pain right now but I don't care.
Bought a bag of my favourite rabbit sweet for like 1.60 from the vivomart? yea...
only to have it thrown into the trash by my grandmother,
saying that it was reported poisonous in China. blah blah blah.
the shops in Singapore don't know it yet, blah blah blah.
got fuckin pissed. I don't want to whine, it's not like I love to whine Gen.
I'm just fucking bothered by the fact that she threw my money down the drain.
I have hardly enough to last me for breakfast let alone lunch and dinner,so i
bought sweets to curb the hunger while waiting for my mum to buy dinner or give me $$
for food and stuff...

Never mind about that. Just FUCK it. Been eating it for 10 years and I'm fine.
Getting more and more short tempered nowadays. Dunno why.
Maybe it's the hanging out with Clara too much... dunno dun care
Was never like this before, dunnow what's happened.
I can blow up over something I like to eat, and to those who forbid me to eat them.

Just realized my little family is full of hypocrites. Fuck.
Last year my grandmother forbade me to get a job.
NOW she wants me to get a job to pay for my own bills.
My mum said back in August/September that I could take lessons from Studio Wu where one of my cousins is working as a dance instructor once O's are over.
Fucking hell a week before I finish my last paper she said,
Only after you have stamina then you can learn for ONE month. FUCK LAH.
Bloody pissed off. Bloody hypocrites. My family's tight and all but they
just get on my nerves like over every single fucking thing I want to do outside
the house. Still pissed off.

Don't know when I'll simmer down. Maybe I'll take an early plane to China
so I can condense the water vapour in the air and cool off before the family
spends six days with me, the one who blows up over every single thing
I'm becoming mad. Sadist, insane whatever you want to call it.
Don't know why but sometimes I feel that I stick out like a sore thumb.
Bloody hell I hate life right now. Don't care if I died in an accident.
The world would have one person less to feed and worry about... or at least my mum would.
Sucks when I feel like this. Normally this would go off after a few hours.
But I think this will take until Christmas. Fuck.

Guess I'm just hard up on cash. I hate owing ppl. I'm not one to run to my parents whining I want something and I need cash to get it.
I don't ask for allowence. I just let my parents forget and forget and forget...
Until I'm dying then I'll ask. If not I'll wait till they ask me.

Can't sleep. It's 1.50am, Sunday morning. Don't know how long I'll be up surfing the net for stupid things like lyrics.

Giving myself music therapy right now. The only thing that works to help me simmer down. Sad songs work the best. Angry songs will make me even more agitated.
Whatever ppl.
Clara, if you see this, I chose to feel this way.
I'll be fine. Just freaking pissed off... money went down the drain... fuck la.
By the way, money IS a big deal to me.