i haven't been sleeping at all for the past 2 days...
i'm sooo tired... like physically exhausted... mentally exhausted...
but i can't seem to fall asleep....
i close my eyes... i wait and wait until the next day and when i'm about
to start dreaming, my alarm goes off and i'm listening to
MCR Famous Last Words at 7am on a Saturday...
oh my... what a life...!!!

i stayed back in school yesterday to do my work...
Siu Yun was so sweet, and stayed back with me cause
she didn't want me to be alone in HIVE until so late at night...
then we did our work... Siu Yun did IDS while i stayed stuck with
my VDS birds.... STILL...
Siu Yun then suggested that i my layout on paper
instead of doing it in Illustrator...
and guess what? I COMPLETED MY LAYOUT!!!! WhooTS!! WhooTS!!

and it is ALL thanks to.......

SIU YUN!!!!!

and....

HIVE!!!!

i wonder if i can marry a room.... whahaha... crazy man...
but really, that room so so conducive!!
i find that i complete most of my assignments there you know?
ahhaha.... and i spend about more than 20 hours a week in that room...
whahaha!!!

it was a stupid thing to do,
but i brought my leather jacket to school...
but it was so freaking HOT yesterday...!!
haha...
so i lent it to Siu Yun who wore it from the time
they went to T14 to the time we went
down to buy food at around 7+
waahah.... if you wanna see the pics of my jacket,
go to Siu Yun's blog and check it out... heheheh...

met up with my Media committee in school today
to put up stuff in HIVE... yeah...
Mr Azhar was sooo sweet...!!!
He rushed down from wherever he was
to open up HIVE for us and the SALC place
so that we could print the pictures
and stuff for free
and not worry about the amount
of paper we were gonna be using...

woke up so early... yeah the first
paragraph of this post already mentioned
what happened to me the night before...
then stonning as i was looking for pics
and all that... got part of the
VDS competition research done already...
now all i need to do is to perfect
my Adobe Illustrator skills... hahaha


anyway... watching The Return of Jafar... Aladdin...
WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.........!!!!!!!!!!!
HEAD HURTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T^T

=> i just want someone to have and to hold.

well well well... just blogging with random thoughts cause my mind's a total blank right now like wth lah.... so bloody ********sasdlf asd flskfj@!#%#T$^Y$R#RT#$@#


yeah that's kinda how i feel right now.... so went to meet nicole today... she had to use lappy for some stuff... yeap... then after that i went home... on the way went to compass and bought a can of tom yum pasta sauce... hahah... yeah and cooked dinner for myself... i didnt know one can of sauce could spread over 2 servings of pasta... so yeah, i had 2 rounds of my pasta... wahaha... it was really good!!!
wwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! addicted already!!! XD

take a look!!!!
*points below*




looks reali good eh?? whahaha... if you come over i'll make the creamy sauce!!! like the one i made for siu yun!!! hehehh..... so yeah well addicted to britney again... whahaha.... can't seem to get over her songs and can't seem to get over her.... lolss... she still rocks okay!! Mother of 2 and still looking HOT!!! wahhaha...

anyone wanna learn how to do I'm a Slave 4 U dance? can join me and Natt in figuring out the steps!!! i already know like part of it soooo... yeah.... *wink wink*
absolutely anyone can join in... so during break we can have a mass dance in T14 or HIVE!!! whahaha... that'll be the cooooolest thing EVER!!!

i'm just gonna sign off now....
got some stuff i wanna do....
LAME stuff like online quizzes... whahaha....
didn't i say i was feeling random today??
XXDDDD

I'm feeling rather lathargic lately... there are thoughts in my head that i can't seem to pen down on paper for fear of being attacked by those whom it concerns... pretty complicated for someone like me to be writing eh? but whatever... it's not like they would care if i was confused or not... and i will not be forced to do something i don't want to... like let's say... FREAKING HOMEWORK... haha... anyway i'm totally in love with Siu Yun!!! waahahaha... we love each other!!! and when school reopens we'll be spreading love all around so that everyone will know that they are sooooo loved... love is in the air... waahahahahahahahhaha...!!!!!! ok i'm just bein ridiculous right now...

anyway, ah si asked me to meet her at paya lebar on friday at 4-8pm... like wth?? all the waaaaayyyyy there on a weekday??? something's up and i'm gonna find out what... AND she as acting so mysterious... after she asked me to meet her at paya lebar on friday at 4-8, she asked me to send her a list of all my female contacts that are aged 16 and above... hmmmmm..... honestly, my exact expression was like this: -_-"

i'm having a movie marathron today... Mum unplugged the cable vision thingy so i can't watch MTV, Miami Ink, Nickelodeon or Disney Channel!! so i'm just watching Harry Potter 2 and 3 all over again.... and i watch Joseph the King of Dreams... and Anastasia over the past 24 hours... and i am NOT watching Finding Nemo OR Herbie... i'm getting kinda bored... haha... i lent Siu Yun my Harry Potter 4 sooooo... yeah i'm waiting for it to come back to me... :D

so i'm checking BlackBoard for any announcements... homework... extra assignments that i may or may not wanna do... hahaahaha... oh heng... no extra assignments... alright on with my blogging...

i know that reading a blog with all words and no pictures is boring but i just can't help it alright??

i guess i'll end the post here.... got nothing else to say for today...




L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one i see
V is very very, extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore

And love is all that i can give to you....


This is for all my friends in DCMD Year 1 Singapore Poly!!! I love you guys!!! :D:D:D
And friends from SJC and OLGC, you will never be forgotten!

YAY!!!! My class finished the mural painting!! Yayness!!! wahaha.... too bad i had to go off early yesterday, couldn't stay for the prata... went to meet xavier and charlene at orchard... it's been 5 years since we went out together!! waahaha!! so looong.... anyway, just want to blog before i go off to meet siu yun for lunch at tiong bahru... going for my first dance training!!! yay!! so excited!!! i dunno if we're gonna do physical training like pumping and running or do choreography.... hmmmm....

well we went to watch Kung Fu Panda yesterday... was suuuuuuper duuuuper funny!!! waahhaa... laugh until wanna cry sial.... then went to eat pasta at cineleisure... hmmmm.... yeah we had quite a good chat... then it was raining heavily and it was like 10++ and we were stuck inside the building cause none of us brought umbrella... lol... then when the rain reduced to drizzles, we walked over to meritus hotel and sat near the pub to wait till the rain completely subsides... NEAR the pub... NOT IN the pub... unfortunately for charlene and me, it was the smokers section.... so yeah... enough said...

anyway, lately i dunno what to think anymore... dunno if i want to join HOGC or not... dunno if i like him or him... hmmmm.... i'm one confused girl... i should talk to siuyun about it later... maybe she can help... i think i can go to her for help cause i feel that i can depend on her... yeah... she's been a real support for me lately... like when i need to talk to someone i can always go to her... not that i can't talk to fara or melt or anyone else in class... but you know you always share a little bit more with one person in your life... right?

hmmm.... should i leave now? i can get there in like half an hour... it's not easy for me to be able to connect to the internet ya know? it's been cocked up lately... maybe i'm not taking very good care of my laptop... poor baby lappy... :(
maybe i'll blog again when i get back from dance training!! :D

today was fun! haha... went for service at ah si's church... spent practically the whole day out... met a lot of people and made a lot of new friends... haha... fun fun fun... :D :D :D i liked the service! there is always a BUT... i am still not sure if i wanna stay there...

it was such an eye opener today for me... He made amazing things happen in the same room that i was in... i was completely blown away by His presence and His power... it was just WHOA... i was left... completely speechless after what i experienced...

this is just what i think alright? please don't make a big deal out of it...
the thing is that i already found that, so called sense of stability in my life when i went to The Novena with my grandmother... and i go every now and then to pray... and honestly, if i do convert, it would most likely be to the catholic faith... because that was where i first found peace and comfort when i was going through a rough patch in my life... the chapel in my secondary school was where i found my strength and that sense of security... although i will try it out with ah si's church and do my best... but i feel that my heart is already with Jesus, with God when i prayed during my primary and secondary school years and even now... because i've been brought up by the catholic faith, i think i'd most likely stay a freethinker, or convert to catholic...

i promised ah si that i'll do my best with this church... so i guess we'll see how it goes... i've met so many people today it's a little hard to like remember everyone's names... haha...

Makes Me Wanna Pray

What is this feelin' comin' over me
I'm taken back in disbelief
Is this really me
In the mirror I see
Staring back at me
Could it be
A new reflection of a woman complete

All of a sudden I'm so carefree (well alright)
Your lovin's doin' somethin' strange to me (well alright)
I gotta new flame, ha!
Haven't been the same
Something in me's changed
Rearranged
And I feel that I've been saved

You got me feelin'
Like you're that somethin' I've been missin'
Everything's heaven
Cause life with you has been a blessing

Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
I got it bad in a serious way, (oh yeah)
Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
Your love has brought me to a higher place, (oh yeah)
Who knew, Who knew, it'd be you to restore my faith
Everyday, I am amazed
And it makes me wanna get down and pray
Makes me wanna get down and pray
Said it makes me wanna get down and pray
Yeah-hey

I've kept some company I shouldn't have (well alright)
Made some mistakes but that's in the past (well alright)
I'm confessin' here to you
Proof that I am through

I'm coming clean
And I can breathe
And I finally believe, yeah

You got me thinking
I'll be alright, and you're the reason
Ooh I can feel it, we're movin' in a new direction

Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
I got it bad in a serious way, (oh yeah)
Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
Your love has brought me into a higher place, (oh yeah)
Who knew, Who knew, it'd be you to restore my faith
Everyday, I'm amazed
And it makes me wanna get down and pray
Makes me wanna get down and pray
Said it makes me wanna get down and pray
Makes me wanna get down and pray
Makes me wanna get down and pray

Ohh
Where would I be, Where would I be
Without you by my side
Where would I be, Where would I be
Without you standing by

Makes me wanna (pray)
Makes me need to (pray)
When I'm feeling low and all alone
You're the light in my day, yeah

Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
I got it bad in a serious way, (oh yeah)
Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
Your love has brought me into a higher place, (oh yeah)
Who knew, Who knew, it'd be you to restore my faith
Everyday, I'm amazed
'cause it makes me wanna get down and pray
'cause it makes me wanna get down and pray
Makes me wanna get down and pray

Woo, thank you father!

Wanna lift my hands up and praise
Every time I'm hearing your name
Wanna reach out and rejoice
At the mere sound of your voice, yeah

Hey yeah
Alright, that's it

well... today had class outing... it was damn fun sia... wahaha!!! took a lot of pictures but the darn thing can't seem to upload.... damn sian... makiyo, ash and siuyun babay are like at the place and i can't stay over... says my mum... ... it's like all girls lah... its not as if i'm gonna get raped or anything...

anyway im having the throbbing kind of headache now... wth i didnt even drink today lah! wth... anyway this is like another brain numb thingy.... ahaha... yeah siao already... so like urgh! dunno what to write my head hurts bad... omg this totally sucks... i dunno if i'm 100% over j, but i'm like almost 100% head over heels for n... wth i'm so fickle minded... cause of the outing today... yeah well... haiz... nvm la... but i feel so relaxed now that i'm kinda over the crush thing for j... and like yeah... omg so many ppl know that i like n now... haiz... it's like my secret not secret alr lah... wtf....

whatever... no in the mood to blog cause mom didnt let me stay over.... and yeah... just not in the mood for a lot of things cause of the stupid headache too...

yes, i've decided to blog again for the second time today. just let everything out like the brain numb thing one of my lecturers told us to do on a monday morning...

i am now in amk MAC next to the HUB... just sitting... sipping on my ice milo... chilling out until i have to leave to give tuition... haiz... damn sian... *sigh*
anyway, i just gritted my teeth and did my report for HCD just now in school... we ended up going to the 5th floor of the library to do our assignment... yeah... was kind of a productive day as i actually got part of my work done... whaha... then went to eat mac's for lunch... now i'm still super full... wahaha... the grilled chicken foldover at school taste nicer than the one they serve outside... lolss... and i paid $5.85 for the meal plus upsize and changed the drink to milo... haha... cheap eh? yeah... so if you wanna eat mac's, go to Singapore Poly cause you'll save a hell lot of money...

anyway i was just wondering to myself... why am i giving tuition again? maybe it's for some extra cash for me to go shopping... maybe it's for me to like... i dunno... buy supplies for this oh so expensive course that i'm in... so that i won't burden my mum any longer cause she's already spent so much on me since i was little... paying for ballet and music lessons... then it was my dancing... now it's my future... how long more will i be a burden to this wonderful woman who has already given me so much and ask nothing but love in return?

deep thoughts but not enough words to express them... i wonder if anyone ever reads the posts the contain my deepest thoughts and most sincere words... haha... cause honestly, i wasn't popular at all back in my secondary school... just among my guides i was the funny, sweet, kind senior who took mercy on them when they were so exhausted and still had to do footdrill... wahaha... but i didn't let them climb all over me. nope. and that is one thing that has earned me their respect. haiz... those were the days... and when i went for the campfire, my successors told me how spoiled the recruits are... pampered and all... geez... i hope we can knock some sense of responsibility into them...

right now, i'm just stoning... letting my mind wander around... i think it's in prague now cause chun yong was just talking about his trip there earlier today... wahaha.... feeling dreamy.... but still oh so tired... i wanna talk to N... i wanna lean on him again... i wanna stone in the couch with him again... haiz... but somethings are just better left unsaid...

Loving Me 4 Me

People ask me if I'm in love with you
Cause I'm sitting here with your picture
And smiling to myself
I'm kinda lost in my own thoughts of you
My heart speaks before my mind thinks through
And I blush as I say "yes"

What a feeling of vulnerability coming over me
And I'm feeling weak and I can't speak
Never thought I'd give in so willingly to a human being
With abilities to set me free
Free, make me be me
Makes me want to say

Your lips, your love, your smile, your kiss
I must admit it's a part of me
You please me, complete me, believe me
Like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof
We were meant to be
But the best quality thats hookin' me
Is that you're loving me for me
Is that you're loving me for me

People ask why I'm in love with you
Well, let me start by saying
You got my heart by just being who you are
And what we got is between me and you
It doesn't matter about the money I make
Or what I do, or that I'm a, huh, a star

Unconditionally you're there for me
Undeniably you inspire me, spiritually, so sweet
This is meaningful, is incredible, pleasurable, unforgettable
The way I feel, so sweet
Makes me want to say

Your lips, your love, your smile, your kiss
I must admit it's a part of me
You please me, complete me, believe me
Like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof
We were meant to be
But the best quality thats hookin' me
Is that you're loving me for me
Is that you're loving me for me

Its so amazing how something so sweet
Has come and rearranged my life
I've been kissed by destiny
Oh, heaven came and saved me
An angel was placed at my feet
This isn't ordinary, he's loving me for me

Stripped of all make up, no need for fancy clothes
No cover ups, push ups
With him, I dont have to put on a show
He loves every freckle, every curve, every inch of my skin
Fulfilling me entirely, taking all of me in
He's real,he's honest, he's loving me for me
Yeah

yeah well i decided to change my blogskin... yeah i got sick of hairspray... wahaha... so i'm in school now with pei zhi... the rest of the guys are not here yet... fara isn't coming for our grp discussion today... omg this sucks i can't comprehend the stupid assignment brief and what we're supposed to do... i'm screwed man... wahaha...

anyway... been having headaches since monday... urgh... irritating sial... can't think, my brain's jammed... can't process information... urgh it's so infuriating... headaches suck man... so kids, get enough sleep or else you're gonna end up like me... -.-"

that's about it... i'll see if i feel like posting another random poem... lolss...

so i stayed up all night doing DT with someone online... it was reali fun talking to them... then at 8am, my brain had a mini-meltdown... my head was throbbing with pain and i just couldn't focus... i told them what i was experiencing and they asked if i was alright....

right now... i'm just kind brain dead... besides the fact that i just wrote a super deep poem with fara... haha...omfg i'm so shagged... i cancelled my tuition the last minute... told the kid that i was too exhausted to teach today... also good lah... so i'm only giving tuition once a week for this week and next... oh good good i can rest for a little bit... but still got HCD and stuff...

anyway i'm waiting for that someone to come online... but dunno when they're coming online... haiz.... i cannot tahan already... i'm going to sleep!

well.... fara and i decided to write a poem together today... lols... to let our inner emo selves out... hahaa


shadows of flowers breaking into the silhoette of my soul,
the petals are soft, but their rhythm is cold without you
and into the forest i follow your soft trail...
and into the forest i blend into what's left of you

wake up; the rain has long stopped
the freshness of the after rain air still lingers; like my soul for you
let's walk now, bare feet on this coarse road
together we shall live each day to the fullest with no regrets

and i won't shut an eye; i won't sleep, nay
i shall watch your sleeping face each peaceful night;
i shall gaze at you watching your every breath
a moment asleep, senses dulled to your heartbeat i might just die
so leave me not, to bleed on this moonless night

droplets of dews on this hand of mine trickling down
i shall shower you with my tears of happiness,
i shall serve you as you were my king
and i'll never know my tomorrow,
because each day with you is like a whole new adventure.

why is that moon so brilliant unlike before
why is the wind so gentle on my skin
as i walk on these petals i feel traces of your light steps on them
the memories of before will never fade; but stay close to my heart
and there'll be wounds sure,
but time will heal the hurt


deep enough for you readers? haha... stay tuned for more deep poems from Shina and Fara of DCMD 1A 01. haha. =D
i had fun doing this...