that FCKING liar.
saw HER at PS today when Clara and I were walking out from the mrt.
acted as if she didnt see me at all.
this is SO lilian all over again.
so like BLOODY hell LAH.
im officially washing my hands off her.
because SHE doesn't want the friendship.

FCK lah. it is so lilian all over again...........

anyway im covering a shift for someone tomorrow night
should be fun working with Dr Cheah again.
luckily i know how to spell his name
if not i'll have to spell doom...
went to pc bunk, play for like an hour and a half
decided to leave because the guys were so noisy
and rude... and loud that i didn't hear clara's message come in.

clara and nicole assured me that it was HER over reacting.
im also at fault but SHE was the one who blew up the matter
out of total proportions.
so whatever right?
i seem to be losing myself. all over again.
didnt eat the whole day then at a lot in the night.
after i split up with clara, went to Robinsons.
ate large fries and a large coke to fill my stomach
as much as i wanted to starve,
i wouldnt have had the energy to drag myself back to PS
if i didnt eat. and friends know me as the one with food
or the one who loves to eat.
well the loving to eat part suddenly disappeared today.
dumped my problems on clara the day before her N level results come out
i apologized but she said its ok.
like what a good friend right? Shina just lucky i guess... haha

well wont blog about dinner.
let's just say i had too much to eat.
BURP!

what happened after the last post?
i'll tell u.......

on the way to work, i called nicole and told her what happened.
she said that i was in the wrong to cancel last minute,
and that SHE was just over reacting.

this was what she messaged me after we hung up:

next time if you cannot wake up or anything...

blah blah blah...

and then:

don't until i reach compass alr den i call you then
you tell me can? and if you feel you don't really
want to go because of whatever reason, pls, tell me at least
the night before.don't let me waste my time and trip. i really
pls and thank you to do that k?


yes yes yes. i was in the wrong. at least i admit that.
FYI girl some people dont.
i said meet at 11.30 and she called me at 11.40
then i asked if she still wanted to go and then she said her famous and fav phrase
" I dont know"

so i cancelled. she got pissed. she didnt wait very long.
she wait prob 10 mins more or less.

i replied that she can me mad at me because she obviously has a right to be.
and that i was so sorry i overslept and cancelled on her last minute.
and that i dont know what to do know and that i just dont want to lose a friend like her.

SO. guess what SHE said!

read on.....


you will not lose a friend like me. i'll just make sure i'll
NVR go out with you alone again. we can still chat on the phone or msn.

nice huh? well done Shina. so i just sent her this:
Fair enough

whatever la.

so i told clara and nella what happened today.
she said that she would've been really pissed off at me BUT she wont
say that she would never go out with me alone again.
so like what the hell.
i blew her off one time and she said that???!!!
i must be the worst friend she ever had.
or she can just announce that the friendship could be officially over
but FCUK LAH.
i already said i was wrong, that i was sorry, WTH do you want me to do?
go on my knees and beg for forgiveness from her?
FCUK a million times.
damn pissed at myself...

bloody hell lah.

well this day started out as a total let down.
don't know how i will do in work later.
was supposed to meet xue yi for our cycling day at compass.
totally spaced and overslept.
cancelled on her the last minute when she was already there.
friendship is tentatively on the rocks.
bottomline, i screwed up her day, big time.
im such a let down to everyone.
my grandmother never thinks that i can achieve anything.
at least my mum supports me in my studies.
oh shit im started to tear. fuck la.

pissed at myself for being who i am.
don't think i can read what she has to say to me in that message that just came.
if she forgives me i can't live with myself.
if she doesn't i still can't live with myself.
i don't think i can ever forgive myself on this issue.
suck eh. im stuck. i don't know what to do. fucking sucks.

we'll see what happens. its not the end of the world.
it's just going to be the end of a friendship.

well i finally got a job. at an eye clinic at AMK.
mum's friends pulled some strings... ya da ya da ya da...
interview with the doctor, and i have to go for training..
yupp.. went today and going again tomorrow...
im not going for MCR's concert after all...
tickets were crazy expensive for a kid like me...
and i won't even be able to see them from where i would be at
IF i had bought the ticket.
singular, ticket.
talked to my mother about it and ya, strange as it seems....
she actually knocked some sense into my head...
Good Charlotte's concert was the best i've been to so far...
ticket was 70 bucks including sistic charge and it was free standing...
cool eh?
oh and another thing, Mum didn't want me going alone and stuff so there you have it

anyway i can spend the $$ in something else. like paying clara back for the customized hat
and buying new clothes and cds... so ya...
told nicole, clara and rizal that i wasnt going
no matter how long and hard i've worked and waited for this, im not going
bloody mosquitoes trying to suck the blood outta me
YIKES!
anyway they all agreed that it was expensive
and i was already doubting my decision to go like last week...
so i guess that's the way it is...
but hey, there'll be other concerts right? i hope.......................
Mother you'd better be right.............

you know when i said i was gonna do a maths and chemistry?
guess what, i didn't! now why doesn't that surprise me?
anyway was clara's birthday to day...


HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLARA!!!!!!


yeah, we went out and stuff... go far east plaza, go borders...
then went looking high and low for her mr and mrs smith novel...
went to toa payoh popular, then went to compass popular, then finally gave up...
now im just blogging while she's on her way home...
haiz this sucks... im freaking broke... so hard up on cash nowadays...
crappy right?
we designed the cap that we wanted to do as a group today...
yeah baby, i got the skull and cross bones!!! WHOO HOOO!!! damn happy man...
but have to collect tomorrow... haha... lols...
gotta go down after tuition with ignatious... im beginning to like that kid...
but the down side is that clara paid for me and xue yi first cause WE didn't have the $$ to pay for it... lols...

i told her,

i'll pay you back the end of january next year....

she was like, "sure sure... i know you only get your pay till then..."

and i was thinking, "yeah... all that tuitioning..."

i need more students lah... $100 extra a month won't make much of a difference...
i already have like a shopping list in my head and as you can see, on my blog...
sheesh this sucks...
have to wait until results come out till i can get the phone that i sorely need right now... sheesh...
like its my money in the bank but i can't touch it... :P

ah wells, i'll just have to deal with it.
currently not speaking to my family members, as in the ppl i live with...
they have to say something and everything about what i do... crappy man...
this is crappier than the Krappy fish in Aqua Road in maple...
it only drops its skin and air bubbles... lame lah... jr. seals are more interesting...

why am i talking about maple? this is the ultimate weird...

Finally! the perverted taggings have stopped.
Anyway, haven't been blogging as much as i used to.
Because there's nothing to blog about.
Except that some friendship issues have been resolved, that I STILL don't have a part time job.
Oh did i mention? I'm starting to wear make-up when I go out.
Freaky huh? Ya... like tell me about it...
hmm... honestly, i think i look like i'm going clubbing or something
i don't have too much on, it's just that the black eye shadow i used as eye liner,
kinda makes me look emo. i think. without the baby blue and brown eye shadow,
i definately look emo. oh joy.

anyway, next week's MCR's concert and i can't wait to get the ticks...
i don't think they're sold out though... i know christina aguilera's was...
so my trip to beijing draws nearer everyday... what to do in a country that has temperatures below zero degrees?

1) Always Always wear your long john's inside the clothes you are gonna wear out
2) Bring your lip balm, mosturizer, whatever. That goes for guys too.
3) Bring hand cream, because it's really dry and you don't want your skin to be all dried up and cracked.
4) Wear a beanie or some kind of hat to prevent heat from escaping from your body.
5) Wear a super thick sweater or windbreaker, DUH you don't wanna freeze....
6) Wear LEATHER gloves.
7) Carry at least 2 heat packs with you, unless you'd rather shiver all the time....

that's all the common sense i have to pass to you guys who need it.
oh ya one more thing, when bargaining, bring the price like real low and unreasonable then negotiate until the agreeable price. try it, it works.
i look really freaky... i'll try to post a pic but ya....