i'm feeling fierce now. No more emo shit so yea...
Chrisitan Siriano's personality is really rubbing off me.
But i've got a lot to learn before i show my confidence.
Maybe i should go to LaSalle after poly, study fashion design...
That'll be so freaking cool!!! Then i could go to London like Christian...
That's is my ultimate fantasy, meeting Christian...
When i told Nikki that i thought that he's so emo-ey hot,
she literally wanted to slap me over the SMS... LOLS!!!
i simply can't get enough of him, i'm totally psycho now...
i love music, fasion and designing stuff...
Creative media design is just a stepping stone for me,
i would LOVE to study fasion design Part-time while i'm working and stuff...
i know i'm not supergirl, but i have to do SOMETHING with my life...

i have come to the conclusion that i should live life
to the fullest no matter what the fuck happens to me.
even if i were to meet in an accident, if needed, i'll
get whatever operation and get back on board my life.
i want to be able to live each day to the fullest, but
why the hell is it so hard?

everytime i'm feeling good about something, something or someone else has to spoil it for me. and i would be like, "holy shit! what the fuck is this supposed to mean?"
yes, in the previous post, i experienced something exactly like this. i've go so much thinking to do. i blew nicole off today, we were supposed to got for a joy ride on bus 100, exploring the ends of Singapore, but i wasn't feeling up to it. i'm still feeling really lethargic, dunno how i'm gonna face the sunrise tomorrow. i know that i owe her an explanation, i've got to talk to her tomorrow... no matter what...

i feel like i'm losing a lot of friends. LCA is one of them. i sent him a couple of emails, dunno if he read it, dunno if he wanted to reply, dunno if he still wants to be friends or not... it sucks really. and that recent DRAMA between me and HER, so i was like what the fuck is happening to me? or rather, why am i feeling like this? i don't want to seem like the most horrible person on earth! :'(
i don't know, it seems like wanting to be happy makes me the most horrible person ever! i have to put on a show everytime i go to work because of someone i love, because i don't want to embarrass them... i don't know what to do now! i'm like,"fuck! i wanted to quit but now i can't!"

THIS SUCKS SO BAD; I WANT TO DIE!!!!!

i don't even want to think about it, it makes me sad and it makes me wanna cry. Sweet, merciful crap. this is serious shit, and the worst thing is that i WAS feeling fierce like ten minutes ago, but now i am feeling not so much as fierce, more if pissed off, suffering in silence, and i can hardly breathe. Someone throw me a lifeline.