YEAAAAHHH!!!!
my right hand is all better!!!
just in time for tomorrow's dance training!!!
can do floorwork already!!!
feeling hella good right now...

well didnt go for DS lesson today...
only because we couldn't finish
baking the stuff in the morning...
and melt's oven was super small
compared to the one i have at home...
haaiii....
den brought all the DS stuff for nothing!

after that, me and siu yun
went for dance session in school...
it was such a productive session!
i mean i reali reali reali like dancing!!
i looooooooove it!!!!!
i was born to design and dance!!!
XD

yeah i found out that i could do floorwork
during the session...
ahaha...
it doesn't hurt...
but i still have to be careful
not to like bend it a certain way
so that it hurts...
hmmm...
learn a lot from the seniors today!
all my shifu... and in japanese, sinseh!
they're actually nice...
butbutbut!!
daniel somehow scares the crap out of me...
hahahah....
either that or the fact that
we have to take dance exams...

OMG!
dance exam is like.... next week!!
and the stupid poly 50 run is also next week!!
wtfffff????????
and DT assignment due next week!!
omgomgomgomgomgomgomg....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okay chill.... i can do this...
tmr after dance i'll go straight home...
do DT part 1 and 2....
thursday and friday do 1 and 2...
do 3-5 over the weekend...
finish by next tuesday night...
and next tuesday is the nude drawing...
i dont think that i'm mentally prepared...

10000001 things to do and soo little time!!

----it's a race against time------

well, i managed to quit the tuitioning...

BUTBUTBUT

my mum had to spoil my whole evening... as usual...
good things never last long for me...
they only last for less than four hours...
ALL THE TIME...
quite a bummer huh?
i dunno how i managed to live this long
with such a short span of happiness
at once... i think it's because
i have plenty of those... :D

currently still stuck on the song
that's playing on my blog...
i have no idea why i'm sooo
completely totally addicted to
such an oooooold song...


anyway, i'll tell you guys tmr
what happened if you ask me...
to tired to type everything down...
or just too lazy...
i'm pretty sick and tired of
my mum always spoiling my mood...
spoiling almost everything good
that's ever happened to me...
being such a !@#E!R@$%#!#$@%T!#$
pretty colourful language eh?

no no no
i've decided to try and
stop my bad habit of swearing
too often whether is it
on my blog or when im talking...
after so long, it's hard not to
swear as much... haha...

im sooooooo tired mann....
i still gotta chiong assignments...
if not i'll be super DEAD like XP

and i got another crush on someone else...
oh my... i think i'm falling fast and hard...
nonono dont ask me who...
i wont tell you only because
it's none of ur flipping business...
haha... XD
i like him enough...
butbutbut...
i'm still... waiting...

i'm gonna emo here for a bit...

i'm currently at school...
blogging with siu yun's laptop...
and guess what?
i'm here to practice dance...
den i get a call saying that
i needa give tuition...
said that it was my handwriting...
den was kinda implying that i was irresponsible...

seriously, i wanna stop giving tuition COMPLETELY...
i cannot tahan already...
i'm about to breakdown...
and you know what?
looks like i have to miss
ANOTHER TGIT event...
fucking hell lah...
it's been a while since i sweared like that...
i forgot that tgi was on thursday,
den i wrote down to give tuition on thursday...
omgomgomg... it's all so fucking messed up...

i don't care if i don't get paid...
cause the thing is that...
I HATE TEACHING...
yes, I HATE TEACHING...
I HATE TEACHING KIDS...
I HATE TEACHING ENGLISH MATHS AND SCIENCE...
and i won't blame him lah...
i blame myself for not quitting sooner...
i blame myself for not being able to see that it was not worth it...
i blame myself for everything...

i don't really care if he fails...
really i don't give a damn anymore...
i'm so fucking stressed...
i couldn't care less if i didn't paid...

WHATEVER

如果有一天 我回到从前
回到最原始的我
你是否会觉得我不错
如果有一天 我离你遥远
不能再和你相约
你是否会发觉我已经说再见

当你的眼睛眯着笑
当你喝可乐当你找
我想对你好 你从来不知道
想你想你 也能成为嗜好
当你说今天的烦恼
当你说夜深你睡不着
我想对你说 却害怕都说错
好喜欢你 知不知道

如果有一天 梦想都实现
回忆都成了永远
你是否还会记得今天
如果有一天 我们都发觉
原来什么都可以
无论是否还会停留在这里

也许可是让我想得太多
也许该回到没我 梦里和相遇
就毫不犹豫 大声的说我要说
当你的眼睛眯着笑 当你喝可乐当你找
我想对你好 你从来不知道
想你想你 也能成为嗜好
啦～啦～
我想对你说
却害怕都说错
还喜欢你
知不知道
啦～啦～

well i'm blogging at 9.11am in school...
no one's here but me, leng fei and my laptop...
haha...
i finally know how to type in chinese!
i mean activate the language bar thingy... haha...

-.-''

the lyrics in my previous post was copied
from baidu.com... heh heh...
pai seh pai seh...

i'm confused lah...
dunno what to think anymore - AGAIN

他以经有自己喜欢的人了
听到这个消息之后，
我的心突然觉得很闷
不知道要应该怎么想才好
有时候会觉得很难受

不知道怎么搞的啦
只是我的心被破碎得很惨
没心情很不好
总是觉得自己在乱发脾气
脑海里全部都是他

他的笑容、迷人的眼睛、总是可以让我开心。
活波的性格、总是会让我觉得很平安

HAIYO!!!

SCREW　ＬＯＶＥ

well, went to the sinseh this morning...
ya, finally my mum brought me...
and it wasn't a minor injury...

the dude totally fixed my bones...
ooowwww.....
crack crack crack crack crack....
yikes! im glad i lived through that...
but now... haiz...
can't drink cold drinks...
no carrots... no bean.... no beancurd....
no soya milk... wth....
haha...
at least it's gonna be alright...

the sinseh told me that it's gonna take
another two weeks to heal completely...
TWO WEEKS!!! :'(

s.h.e -五月天
渔人码头演唱会
赵勇

黄金海岸的岸边
我们肩并著肩
洁净的蓝天
清澈的水面
吻成一条海平线
看你温柔的双眼
弹著吉他的弦
歌词是诺言
旋律是依恋
唱出一首五月天

五月的天
刚诞生的夏天
我们之间
才完成的爱恋
紧握的手里面
有好多明天

五月的天
梦开始要鲜艳
前方蜿蜒
一长串的心愿
我们一天一天
慢慢实现

作词:陈震 施人诚
作曲:郑楠

大雨冲走了昨天
青春乌云几片
彩虹的旁边
有星星几点
迫不及待在眨眼

海风味道变香甜
沙滩镶满亮片
你哼着永远
我和着不变
合唱一首五月天

五月的天
刚诞生的夏天
我们之间
才完成的爱恋
紧握的手里面
有好多明天

五月的天
梦开始要鲜艳
前方蜿蜒
一长串的心愿
我们一天一天
慢慢实现

海浪拼命欢呼跳跃
一遍又一遍
鼓励我们
看谁先吻谁的脸
为这五月之恋
再添一个逗点
再多的五月天
怕也不够我们沉醉
海燕身边来回盘旋
扮演著领队
彷佛听见幸福在前面不远
为这五月之恋
再添一点信念
往后的五月天
和你走到比永远还远

五月的天
刚诞生的夏天
我们之间
才完成的爱恋
紧握的手里面
有好多明天

五月的天
梦开始要鲜艳
前方蜿蜒
一长串的心愿
我们一天一天
慢慢实现

well i went for the run
i must admit it felt good after i ran...
ok lah i didn't run exactly...
more of jogging...! haha...
my leg is fine...
my hand is stil hurting...
and it can' press buttons now...
at least the thumb doesn't hurt when i type now...
soooo...
i'm gonna let the pics do the talking...
i'm too lazy to properly update..









my first marathorn and my timing was 5km in 42.32 mins!!

once again i'm faced with this dilemma...
TO RUN, OR NOT TO RUN
i am so gonna totally screw my ligaments tomorrow after the 5km...

anyway, i am gonna tell my mum that i don't wanna give tuition anymore...
cause for one thing, i'm feeling unmotivated to teach...
second, it' taking up my time cause i got other
impt things to do like ASSIGNMENTS...
and thirdly, i give up trying to motivate the kid...
for one thing i don't see him giving me the basic respect?
and he has the attention span of a 3 year old...

i know it's wrong to bad mouth ppl on your blog
but i really cannot take this anymore
it's not as easy as it seems okay...
i think i'll earn a lot more if i got a weekend job
even if it is minimum wage...

so let's do some calculations:

1 day = 8 hours of work

1 hr = $4

8 hr = $4 x 8 = $32

4 weeks= $32 x 4 = $128

BUT let's say the pay is $5 an hr:

8 hr = $5 x 8 = $40

4 weeks= $40 x 4 = $160

WHOOTS!!! $40 makes a whole lot of difference... omg...
anyway, i'm gonna try to cope with working on a sunday every week...

but but but
i won't know what my mum's reaction would be...
will she complain?
will she say that it's alright?
what will she do?
soo many questions but no answers
because she always reacts so..... umm....
differently to what i expect all the time...?
whatever lah...
it just kind of sucks...

i am unmotivated to find a job
because i wanna do well in school
and the thing is that.... um...
well.... i may sound very spoilt to say this...
but it's like...
i don't see anyone having to look for a job to support themselves...
i mean, they work because they want to right?
their parents don't make them work...
and my mum is trying to say that i HAVE to work...
because the course that i am in is costing so much...
she can't possible pay for everything...
i mean she can pay for everything...
but i feel guilty, asking her for money all the time...
HAIYA! this is so annoying...
confusing, whatever adjectives....

hmmm... i think i'd better get at least 3 hrs of sleep...
if not i'll be sleep-running tmr...
haha...
alright i'll post again after the run...
might just take some pictures...

Parents. Will they ever learn how to relate to their child?
Or, will they ever try to understand what their children are going through?

sometimes i feel that some parents in general,
do not make effort to find out why their children do what they do,
like why do they blast their music so loudly?
why are they looking so glum sometimes for a whole week?
why don't they eat their meals on time?
why do they look so tired?

sometimes, she just doesn't understand
sometimes, she just doesn't give a shit about me
and she claims to be the one to give me life
is it living when you're feeling so empty?
is it living when you're feeling so worthless?
why doesn't she have pride in me
it is like she's ashamed of me and of who i am

sometimes i feel like quitting
i feel like giving up
i feel like jumping off the cliff i see
so often in my dreams
every night i'm at the cliff
every night the same one
and every night i wonder why i am there
why do i dream of this?
is there a message, hidden from the naked eye?

Joseph the king of dreams,
interpret these dreams, nightmares, whatever they are
tell me what they mean, so that i can prepare for the worst

i cried and i cried and i cried
the pain i felt... the shame i felt...
the ligament is not getting any better
thankfully the hand is...
i couldn't sleep well...
i locked to door so that no one could see,
that i was crying my heart out for the first time in a long while...

i woke up moody and unhappy...
i wasn't feeling good about myself at all...
it just sucks when this kind of shit happens...
i don't know if i should tell anyone...
but the fact that i am posting this up,
is just a way for me to vent

maybe i'm feeling better now
i've got my classmates who became
the best friends a girl could ever have
yeah man...

i honestly do not know how to keep this up
i honestly do not know if i CAN keep this up

today was a bad day. it wasn't the worst i've had so far,
but still, it was bad to me...
bloody hand's still hurting like crazy...
BUT, Siu Yun gave me her loving touch,
and her magical hands made it better!

hmmm, it's still hurting though...
and when i was massaging it while
watching Harry Potter yesterday,
i realized that my bone's a bit popped out...
well, uh... it was...
a little more than a bit popped out...
eeewww.... urgh....!!!
oh my i'm gonna cry....


and Mel.t was sooo sweet today...
she offered to take me to the hospital,
and she said that she'll pay...
omg omg omg.... i am gonna start crying....
thanks a million dozen times darlin' !!!!
but it's okay...
i'll find a way to get it fixed...

hmmmm......
i've been feeling a little down lately,
cause of my hand...
and the fact that it can't function properly...
it's annoying, having to do everthing with my left hand...
and that includes doing my visual journals...
i quote mr lau "take this opportunity to train your left hand"...
haha... ok mr lau... i'll try...

anyway, i just don't understand...
if my daughter had a fracture,
i'll rush her to the hospital or clinic
no matter what time of the day it is...
and i don't care if it was just a sprain...
so like... tell me again why i didn't see the doc?

besides that, i went hungry today...
yes i went hungry even if i did have cash to buy food...
but it was like, i had lost my appetite...
and when i finally felt like eating
cause i was starving my ass off,
my grandma tells me to come home for dinner...
and i couldn't eat anything until AFTER
i've given tuition AND the bus ride...
and like... yeah...
i pretty much starved for.... hmmmm....
oh! i starved for like 9.5 hours!
and guess what? my stomach lost all feeling
of being hungry after i got home...
but i forced myself to eat whatever's left...
and kinda chucked the sweet potato soup into the fridge
cause i got sick of eating...
how can one get sick of eating?
well i just felt nausea before and after i ate...
it was 10.30pm when i ate my dinner...

looks like i lead a pretty unhealthy lifestyle...
not sleeping much, not eating my meals on time...
hmmmm... what else?
not eating a single thing for more than 7 hours a day...?
and sometimes i forget to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner altogether...
whoa...!! i went for 9.5 hr without food today...
but okay maybe i did get ice lemon tea, and green tea before dt and the break...
and the wang wang biscuits...
but that wasn't enough for me...

alright... looks like i'm gonna fall asleep again...
in front of the laptop
alright
haiz...
peace out ppl...

haven't been blogging cause i was far too lazy... hahaha...
hmmm... im still kinda... er... yeah... the feeling you get when you lose a family member... no doubt my classmates make me laugh and everything, i can't help feeling guilty that i'm here laughing while one of us has just passed... hmmm...

yeah well, i fractured my hand during dance training on wednesday... wtf?!
smart lah me... i was so damn tired, but still i went on to do the dance...
Here's how it happened:

1 and 2 and 3 and

PAH!!

i heard a crack over the super loud music!
when i switched positions with my hand, it hit the floor HARD!
yeah you get the picture... oh my...
wth am i gonna do for next training if it doesn't get better by then???

my mum was supposed to bring me to the sinseh today
BUT my uncle told her not to,
and suggested that i wait for it to heal on its own...
BUT BUT BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't HAVE time to wait for it to heal BY ITSELF!!!!!
i got freaking assignments to do man!!!
and one of them involves DRAWING and the usage of my RIGHT HAND cause
it is more adapted to using the LAPTOP MOUSE and the PENTOOL in illustrator...
AND i have to submit a design for a competition BY the end of this month!!
soooooooo.............
I REALLY CAN'T AFFORD TO WAIT TILL IT HEALS COMPLETELY TO DO MY ASSIGNMENTS!!!!

hmmm...
this stupid plaster thing doesn't really work on my hand
cause it's the bone that's fractured and NOT the muscles that's causing the pain...
SO!
haiz.... what a life....

today didnt go that well either...
although i got to eat ribs and awesome tasting food for lunch,
i felt super nauseas after that, my head was spinning...
my eyes were sooo itchy.... it's like eye irritation...
AND my body was aching like MAD....
STILL aching 4 days after training... wtf lah!!! URGH!!!
worst thing is that i don't feel like tutoring anymore...
after this kid, i am NOT giving tuition EVER again...
it's too tiring...
i'd rather work for minimum wages on a sunday than tutor during the week...
sheesh.... and i have like NO time for assignments...
monday, school endsa at 6pm... after school i have to give tuition,
wednesday, school ends at 3pm BUT i've got dance training and it ends around 7pm for almost EVERY SINGLE SESSION I'VE ATTENDED...
thursday ends at 6pm and then tuition after...

on the days that i give tuition, i usually reach home at round 10 plus... latest was 11 plus... and i'd be toooo tired to do anything... wtf lah...
the only time that i'm free is on tuesday, in the morning before DS lesson at 2 and after DS lesson which is after 6pm... and on wednesday after dance, and friday after school which is like after 6pm...
and maybe i'll be free during the breaks lah... BUT BUT BUT!!!!!!
honestly, how much can you do during those breaks??

right now, i'm trying to force myself to do something else other than blogging...
like the project builder thingy which was due last week... heheh...
ya lah procrastinator...
hmmm...
i think that if it wasn't for:
1. My angel
2. My friends
3. My beloved classmates
4. Nathan
i wouldn't have held up this week... yeah...
SSSHHH!!!!! what's been read on this blog WILL stay a secret alright?
lolss...
but really, thank you to everyone who made me feel loved and a hell lot better
during this week and that includes my angel who gave me the kinder bueno...!!! :DDD

well there's nothing else really for me to write here...
i'll go strain my eyes at my other laptop now... the one for school....
the one i'm using at this particular moment is technically my mum's cause she
paid for it and my brother just uses it for gaming 24/7...

10

-I will wait for the good Lord to make me feel better-

He will keep you safe from harm
He will protect you as you find the light
That would bring you into the promised life
I tell myself this because I believe
I have faith that you will be kept from all evil

Oh little one, you're so pure
Your innocence untainted, untouched; uncorrupted
You're so beautiful,
The Lord wants to keep you
From the troubles, from the horrible things on earth
May you rest in His grace
May you rest safely in His loving arms

We will miss you, we will never forget you
It's been only 10 days,
But 10 beautiful days,
10 meaningful days,
10 days we will never forget for as long as we live,
10 days, but you already mean so much to us,
10 days, shortlived but lived to the fullest.
10 days you fought for your life,
10 days you didn't give up,
10 days and you knew you had to fight

10 days depending on those machines
10 days with tubes in your little body
10 days you had to bear with pain
10 days of medication
10 days you never gave up

for 10 centuries i would remember you
for 10 decades if i lived, i would think of you everyday
for 10 years i will visit you
for 10 months i will cry for you
for 10 days i will pray for you
for 10 hours, i will not sleep, but think of you

Dearest baby cousin, I love you
I'm glad I got to kiss you goodbye
I know I can never see you again
But you will always remain in my memory
You will always be in my thoughts
This I dedicate to you
I just wish you had the chance to read it.

YES!!! i handed in my assignment on time today! !! WHOOTS WHOOTS man!!!! whahahahaha..... but like whatever... i've gone a little mad after looking at birds for such a long time... how completely retarded... -.-"

so anyway, just wanted to update a little bit about my life right now... hmmmm... might go into some personal thoughts that i'm having now... see how this post goes yeah?

so monday, first day of school... haiz... didnt sleep at all cause i stayed up all night doing the birdies... i planned to like finish it by wednesday after so that i could go to bras basah to print and then possibly hand it in earlier...? but that didnt' go as planned... i was so tired that when i got home from giving i just changed into whatever's in the clothes rack and then....


K.O


woke up early the next day around 8am? then did a bit of my birds... den went to school early again... wanted to put up stuff in hive BUT then... forgot that i had to do DS homework... GOSH... then my head of committee Pei Ying, she was soooo sweet... she said that she wanted me to do my homework and assignments, the hive thing can wait until i was more or less done with them... she's knows how to prioratize.... is that how you spell that word?? lol.

after that i stayed back, wanted to put up the stuff... then told her again that i couldnt cause i had to go to tiong with siu yun to get pressies for the the July Babies of DCMD 01... :D she said never mind, go do what i have to... so nice hor?
then after we shopped for the pressies, went to eat tako and the japanese thingy, forgot what it was called but i was DAMN nice sial... so heavenly... ahhaha... went home, picked up the cake from Emicakes and bought a sunflower for miss shirlynn...

woke up DAMN late for lesson on wednesday... the day of the party for the July Babies... class starts at 8am and i woke up at 8am.... fuck lah... shyt... then i missed the WHOLE lecture on optical illusion of colours... wth... den it's like, *BIG SIGH* sian lah! after that i walked in at like 9+ am? miss huei wasn't too happy... haiz... i was like carrying the cake, the presents AND my bag with my laptop and charger in it... no IDS lesson so i stayed in hive to do stuff like the BIRDS... den went for dance training... WHOA... damn tough... but i love it... but do until dizzy.... after 5-10 mins of rocking from side to side you WOULD feel a little dizzy.... haiz... den realized had OC presentation TODAY... somemore haven do script and shit...

so i didnt sleep at all... did the birdies and my report... thank goodness i could finish them both, and printed out my report and stuff... yeah... den fara and lijuan said that they finish their stuff and can start on the script for OC... in the end they said today meet at 8.30am to discuss... left my house extra early for that... like at 5++am i went to pack up my stuff and went to bathe... left the house at 6.45am and reached school at around 7.45am....? was waaaay early but nobody was at t14 at 8.30! then got a message from mel.t saying that the venue for OC had been changed to t20 down there, so i met lijuan downstairs and we walked together, fara was late... nowadays... as usual... long story cut short, OC presentation wasn't too bad. hahaha...

anyway, after handing in the birdies, went to eat at FC4 of all places, thanks to Alexandrew Brandon Maximus David... MY GOODNESS!!!! Food was like HORRIBLE..!!! thanks ah Alex! after that went to SDC to slack, and possibly do assignments... in the end i SLEPT for like 2 hours ++ while mel.t and alex were making a hell lotta noise and siu yun went for a meeing at the CSCC club... i totally K.O-ed on the sofa man... hugging my bag sleeping like a ROCK... lolss... after that i went straight home... tried to sleep but cant!! so i ended up going on msn and chatting and like.... yeah typing this SUPER long post... i wonder who would read this??

i should changed this layout... it's cute but... haha... i just wanna it...