went to watch Hanayori Dango final today...
it was super nice!!! XDDD
so romantic... so sweet...
omgomgomgomgomg...
i'm melting everytime i think
about it now... haa...
went to watch it with siu yun at orchard cineleisure...
yupps....
and guess what? we bought the couple seat!!!
XDDDD
wahahahahahaha...!!!!!!
i had fun man...
i ate subway and dougnuts today!!
haa... yeah actually that's all i ate
and i'm still not feeling the least hungry!!!
is that a good thing?
haha....

i am a hopeless romantic...
yes i am....
if i ever get a bf i'll make
him the happiest guy on earth...
XD
but whatever right?
so sad no one wants me...
sniff sniff....
but why do i care...?
i got siu yun!!!
whahahaha...!!!
but nononononononono.....
i am not lesbian... i'm straight okay...
straight as a ruler....
haa... makes not sense...
my mind's gone case alr i think...
wahaha.... madness personified....
lolss

i'm feeling loads better now...
Siu Yun dear, i'm sorry to
make you so worried about me...
i'm fine now... and it's because
of your concern for me... :)))

Ariel dear, thanks for
your tag as well...
i can't ask for better
friends and companions... :)))

i went to watch Wall.E with
my brother today...
cause my mum gave us money
to watch a movie instead
of letting us rot at home...
waahahahahaa....
it was so cute and so funny...
XDDD

after which we went over
to our uncle's place for dinner...
and dinner was YUMMMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!
XDDDDDD
we had a small thin crust pizza
which he bought from DOME,
aaaaaaaannndd... PASTA!!!!
the good old traditional
pasta with the tomato based
pasta sauce and minced meat!!!
wahahaa... we ate until we were
sooo stuffed!!! XDDD
OH HAPPY DAY!!!

and we played with our cousins
again... hahaa...
sooo cuuute!! still can get over
how cute rachel is!!!! wahahaha...

i don't know why... but i just feel like posting again... yeah... i know... i'm super weird and abnormal... super weird and abnormal Shina...

Shina sucks at everything...
Shina is not happy with herself...
Shina is feeling super lousy...
Shina is the worst person ever...
Shina is the dancer with the worst attitude...
Shina doesn't know how to cherish...
Shina doesn't know how to seize the moment by the throat...
and Shina can't feel anything but hate and rage right now...

Shina feels hate for herself...
Shina feels hate for whatever she has done...
Shina is depressed...
Shina is not in the mood for jokes...
Shina is really really frustrated...
Shina does not have time for games anymore...
Shina is angry at herself...
Shina is angry at herself for being this way...
Shina hates the way she is...
Shina doesn't know how to change...
Shina can't seem to get the message...
Shina is too proud...
Shina is the suckiest person alive...
Shina is never gonna feel good enough for anyone...

And Shina is dying on the inside...
Day by day she dies...
Day by day she disappears into the background of reality...
and soon she will be non-existant...

who knew you could lose all of your confidence in one day?
well i think i sure did... hai...
kinda sucks when you have to choose between
two things that are equally important to you...
and when you've made that decision,
you don't know if you will regret it...

but the thing is, i'm not regretting anything...
because i got to spend time
with my brother on his 14th birthday!!! XD
we had sushi and swensens chocolate fondue
and his free birthday firehouse...!!! XP

and tomorrow is dance session again to practise
everything that i have learnt...
and hopefully i will improve...
maybe i won't no matter how much and how
long i practise because i find myself
too darn narrow minded to accept
the fact that i'm not perfect in doing
the choreographies and techniques...
and i gave up auditioning for
Flava today....

what's my reason?
because the seniors decided that
flava is the last genre to audition for,
and also to have it after
8pm...
so i gave up waiting for over 2 hours
and went to celebrate my brother's birthday
instead...
i actually gave up Flava to eat Sushi and ice cream...
gosh... i must be a terrible person...!
DDDDDDDDDDDD::

here are some pics i took
of our dessert at Swensens!















what happened to me today?
i do not know...
i think i'm the worst dancer
there is...
maybe i'm not even a dancer at all...
i'm just a person who dreams of becoming one...
i can't dance....
i can do choreo... BUT
i can't do freestyle cause i SUCK at freestyle...
yes... Shina SUCKS at freestyle... 100%

and Shina was 100% emo while waiting
for Flava auditions to start,
only to find out that it starts
after 8pm and she has to choose
between celebrating her brother's
birthday and auditioning for one of
her favourite genres...
i felt so lousy on the way
back to sengkang...
i don't know how my SDZ will
look at me tomorrow when i go for
session, and i don't know
what to tell them...
maybe i won't have to tell them
anything because they don't really
care if you had to make a decision
like i did...
maybe they only care about us
training hard to make WAVES 13 a dope one...
and they care about us
making progress...
THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PIPIPAPIPUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
X 10000000000000000000000000000000 times
>:(


i'm going to emo somemore...
i'll be okay...
like i always am...
like i always seem to be...

i've been changing the songs
on my blog like a million times
already... but i can't help it...
my mood changes everyday...
so today i felt like listening
to Michael Jackson!!!
THE EVERY REIGNING KING OF POP!!!
XDDD

hahahaha....
but reali, you guys should
watch his music videos....
it's like mind blowing...
even now...
haha...
he's soo cool....
he can do locking and popping!!!
WTH i never knew...
i thought his moves were
just like.... invented by him
or something like that....
but now i know!!!
haha...
posted some of his awesome
videos on the SDZ forum to share
share share share... ;)))

anyway i think i'm going to bed now...
waaahh... sleepy!!! XD
night night...

i am so tired...
yes i am...
but i need to go on...
i can't give up when i've come this far...

i don't feel like helping
out in the cleaning up...
i reali don't...
because i'm so freaking tired...
and because i got dance training after...

hmm...
meeting siu yun earlier today
to give her tutorial
on one week worth of
dance sessions and techniques...
yupps...
she nearly died yesterday
from the flava and street jazz
routine... poor thing...
and she hasn't been sleeping
well too...
poor girl had 2 camps had
2 camps in a row... and
usually in camps you don't sleep...
go figure...

anyway i'm gonna go get ready to meet
up with her for lesson number 2...
locking and hip hop groove (which i detest)...
yupp...
haiyo!!!
i simply hate hip hop groove...
DON'T ASK WHY...

it's 4.35am and i cannot seem to get to sleep...
no i am not thinking about anything...
no i am not thinking about anyone...
and no, i did not take caffine before going to bed...

i'm chatting with xue yi online....
just random chatting...
asking how life's been etc...
omg....
i think i need to change my bed
and my pillows...
YUCK!
the things that live in your pillow
and your bed... eeewww.... (shudders)

anyway... i'm gonna go try
and watch...
maybe naruto... and maybe i'll fall asleep
somehow...
also...
maybe it is because of my lazy sunday...
hahahahahaha....
did do anything at all but
watch tv and eat... wahahahaha....

i'm just tooooo lazy today...
i don't feel like doing anything...
i even blogged half-way
and went to sleep last night...
haha...
i couldn't even wake up...
i DIDN'T even want to wake up...

i'm sooo tired...
i went for last minute
locking session with Sha Sha
and a couple of other guys...
it was fun..!!!
two of them were like... haha...
damn funny man... lolss....
here's the video!


Damn funny right? wth lah!
i think i'm gonna like...
go brush my teeth and eat...
cause i'm hungry!!! XPP

i think i'm in love again...
no not in love...
i think i've been infatuated again...
for the thousandth time....
WHYYY do these things keep happening?
no fair... urgh!!!


and no... it's not the guy
in the picture... (points up)
it is someone else that
i got to know recently...

omg im too tired!!!
i'll blog again when i wake up...

This is what i miss the most:


This is what i tresure the most:


This is what i want the most...


what i miss the most
is the friend that
i can definitely count on...
and she's in the first picture!
oh man she's gonna kill
me for putting that up...
oh well... haha....
i think she loves me too much
to want to kill me... XDD

anyway, went for session again today...
it was:
1) A lot of fun
2) A lot of sweat
3) A lot of headaches (for me)
4) A lot of bonding with my fellow dancers! XDD
i bonded with the girls from SDZ today...
i mean like reali create that
friendship and team bond....
it came so naturally that
i didnt even notice that it was happening
until the very end of the session!

things are finally looking up :D
i realise that if i practise
harder and longer,
i will be able to get
any choreography that
is being thrown at me...
and that anything is possible
with a little more faith and courage...

we are all practising hard for
the upcoming Waves concert...
i just love the feeling of
being in a team and that
i can ask anyone for help...
i think that i am just very lucky
to have another extended family
that i can depend on...
not just for support, but also
encouragement, strength, reassurance
and last but not least:
LOVE

i know that the word has been
used so many times,
we frequently forget the
true essence of it...
but today, i truly felt that
everyone cares about everyone
even if we dont know each other
that well...
and that is what i love
about SDZ now...

at first, everything was so
awkward, weird, and
everyone was just shy to talk
to someone that they dont
really know...
right now, even if we are not
as close, i feel that
i can just talk to anyone at all
and i can bet that they
will talk back you know?

well, it's the warm fuzzy
feeling you get when
the Christmas season is around...
but this warm and fuzzy
feeling i get from SDZ
is all year round...

whoa... i didnt know
i could feel this way about SDZ...

what i tresure the most,
is my family...
because i feel that
family always comes first...
no matter how many
differences you have,
family is always there
for you, most of the time
it is never changing...
and families always support
each other...

and what i want the most?
that picture says it all...
i wonder if i will
ever have that in this life time...
but i'll keep hoping
and i'll keep searching...
until i find it...

i'm just doing a reflection
in this post... it might
bore you people but it
is what i am thinking right now....
at 3.35am on a Saturday morning...

WHOOTS!!!
I actually enjoyed session today!!
i mean more than usual...!!
haha...!!!

i was 100% high after eating my dinner
which was just mr bean....?
lolss...
and i got a new dance battle partner!!
XDD
haha...

well i made a few more
friends from dance...
which is so freaking awesome...
cause they're so freaking cool
and awesome too...!!!
okok still a bit high ah...
XP

anyway, tried to take a video
of Uncle and another senior
doing a popping choreo...
but my hands were shaking like mad!!
DDD:

here it is!!
you gotta tilt your head
to the left to see it
properly... haha...!!!

i'm lazy to update...
but here are some pictures of my cousins
when i went to stay over last sunday...
XD soooo cute!!!!!

Darren


Darren

Baby Rachel! Aka Xuan Xuan!! XDD

Video!


ok shall update again later!
haha... XP

dance training was... haii...
i'm sick of blogging about
dance training...
let's move on to something else
shall we? :D

okay...
yesterday, dance training
started super early....
it started at 3.30pm...
i just had enough time
to chow down my lunch
before i started...
well i was late for the warm
up but that was it...
i'm never gonna be late
for another training session...
well let's see how it goes
shall we?

i'm sooo tired....
body's aching...
well that's a good sign!
because it means that
i'm doing the moves right!
well i'm learning a lot
from the seniors now...
and it's more than my brain
can absorb... oh well...
they say that the trick is
to use muscle memory instead
of your brain capacity to
remember moves...
can anyone confirm if that's true?
haha...

woke up super early today...
7.10am to meet siu yun,
tingfang and supposedly joshua
to teach joshua and tingfang
what we learnt this week
and on the days that they
didnt come for session...
then after that we went
to vivo to get siu yun's
fairy wings...
in the end, toys r us
didnt have the wings alone...
SO... yeah... she decided
to dress as something else
for her gyl camp's disco/campfire night...
well guess what's the theme?
its........
HALLOWEEN!!!!!

but like... who the hell
reali dresses up on halloween???
unless you're in america
then that's a different thing....

and siu yun camwhored
at toys r us and mini toons...
LOL!!!!
take a look at the pictures!!!
XDD

So this is her with her ELMO BOYFRIEND


with her PIKACHU BABAY


her SPONGEBOB BOYFRIEND


and YES she's dancing with the PINK bunny!


PRETTY FEROSH!


OH NO! IT GOT HER FACE!!


oops! and this is my 100th post! XD

Just another dance session...
muscles hurt...
not like crazy but they hurt...

i'm worried...
some of my friends aren't talking to me anymore...
i didnt mean to be
so in your face about it...
but like... what's going on?
are you that busy? reali?
because i sent you a message
but you didnt reply...
i tried to talk to you on msn
but you didnt reply at all...
hmmmm...
maybe it's just me thinking too much...
this wouldnt be the first time
it happened...
and i'm always blaming myself...
i don't know why... but yeah...

maybe there's an explaination for this...
oh well i'll just stop
bothering you for now...
hmmmm...
we're friends... right...?
:/

oh man i'm hungry...
didnt exactly eat dinner...
it was just mr bean from
the mrt station...
i dont know how long i can
stand, NOT eating
proper food...
maybe it's just... haiyo nvm...

watching Seed of Chucky...
it's taking sooo long to load...
that's the problem with
watching movies from the net...
oh well...
i think i'll just buy
the vcd when i turn 18 next year...
(closes window)

"And I don't wanna fall to pieces,
i just wanna sit and stare at you
i don't wanna talk about it,
and i don't want a conversation,
i just wanna cry in front of you
i don't wanna talk about it,
cause i'm in love with you..."

this longing is killing me...
i am so weak...

YEAH!
my body's aching like hell
after intensive dance training...!!!
and also because i went
to Holland V after to have dinner
with Siu Yun and Ting Fang!! XD
then we walked around the area...
was sooo freaking cool lah!
all the pubs and stuff...
lolss...
and then went to coffee bean
to slack...
i bought a banana chocolate large!! XD
sooo deeeeeeeelicious!!!!
after that i was the happiest
crazy idiot on the face of the earth...

why crazy idiot?
because i was being one
after being woken up by my
mum at 7 am today cause
she needed to use my scanner... -.-"
i was sooo grumpy and cranky
and sooo full of SHIT today....
soooo full of CRAP...
making everyone around me
crazy.... like siu yun...
poor girl got super crazy
at the end of our walk at Holland V...
wahahaha.... crazy meee.... lol...

oh and yesterday during our
session break, we were walking
back and Cerlyn RAAAAN out from
her squash court just to say hi
to us!! XD
awwwww... so sweet of her....!!!
i reali missed seeing her!!!
haha....

yeah total randomness today...
crazy meee...!!!
who can ever like someone like me...?
so crazy random mood swing
cranky grumpy...?
haha... and YES
i was all of these at ONCE
today... only i can do it...
lolss... not to forget EMO...

i'm so tired... eyes hurt...
thanks for waking me up at
7am mum... urgh...
after that i cannot go back to sleep...
cause siu yun's meeting ended early
then we wanted to meet up earlier for
practise on locking etc...
so like... after helping my mum
i went and slacked for 2 hrs
cause i couldnt sleep AT ALL
after that... went online etc...
then went to bathe etc...
then ate lunch blah blah blah...
then i was late again
when meeting siu yun...
omg girl i'm so sorry....
keep making you wait for me
these days when we go out together... >.<"

anyway i think i'm gonna
take a cold shower and
HIT THE SACK!!!

alright lemme update a little bit...

hmmms....
on monday, i went to school
for a meeting...
after which i went to meet
Nikki at amk...
it's been like FOREVER since
we last saw each other...
so we were like SUPER
psyched when we actually saw
each other face to face...
lolss....

took a bus from amk to
city hall, peninsular shopping centre...
i bought a new hoody!!
and a new t shirt for dance!!
it's soo comfy and suuuper biig!!
just nice to cover up to 3 inches
above my knees!! whhaaa...
XDDD

and guess what?
i deposited $50 that day into
my account...
and i spent like $44.90
after that... wth lah...
omgomgomgomgomgomg....
spending waaaaay too much!!!
XPPP

so i decided to be a good girl
for once and go home
early... haha...
just in time to go to
starbucks to hand in my
application form for a
part time job....
i hope i get it man...
seriously in need of money...
i'll tell you why... READ ON (points downwards)




TODAY
met up with siu yun at
city hall before dance training at 5pm
to show her the totally
AWESOME shop i went with
nikki the previous day to get
that new HOODY and tee...
so siu yun fell in love
with the same type of hoody
that i got and also she needed
it for her batam camp cause
she would be staying in a hotel...
she gets cold easily...
SO she bought it and was totally happy!!

after that we went and searched
for the notorious sandals...
why notorious?
because you see them everywhere
but dont know WHERE exactly
to get them...? haha!
we gave up searching at peninsular
and went toooo.....
NEW URBAN MALE - the gay shop
yes it's a gay shop...
i mean the clothes are AWESOME
but they're sooo gay....
and i helped siu yun buy
a pair of $50 AWESOME sandals
they were totally cool and AWESOME
and PINK!! XDDD

AND SO!
Shina's bank account is
currently half empty...
haha....
well... there should be a minimum of $500
in it but i think there's only like...
$300? maybe less?
cause i spent $10++
on my so-called dinner...
i bought food from 7-eleven
because the freakin FC3 wasn't opened... T_T
i had to swipe my card AGAIN...
and yeah....
my pocket's got such a biig hole
that my stuffed tweety bird
could fit through...!!!
mind you that stuffed tweety is HUUUUUGE...
dance training ended at 9.30...
so sad... we were just learning grooovy stuff...
the stuff that i like
and the stuff that i'm good at...
shaking my hips and popping my boootay!

awww well.... haii...
training with Daniel tmr...!!!
cant wait to get tortured...
i'd better cough out
the last of my phelgmn...
if not i'll be suffocating....

and we saw the totally
CUUUUUUUTE kitty cat
on the way to the MRT!!!
it kept moving around
and sayang-ing our legs...
awwww!!! soo manja lor...
hahaha...
when it finally stopped moving,
i took this picture!
haha.... (points below)



it's like... soo clean!
haha...
i knew that cats were
clean and particular
about their hygiene... but
this one was like... it's been
groomed or something... soo cute!!
i hope i see it again tomorrow! XDDD

okok i'm gonna try and snooze now...
gonna start IDS and DS research tmr...!!!
get those annoying assignments
outta the way so that i can
FULLY concentrate on other stuff like:

1. Dance Training
2. My weekend job at starbucks (hopefully i beat out other applicants! XDD)
3. Helping my grandma out (i'll explain that another time)
4. Cleaning my room (it's been EONS since i've done that!!)

alright alright alright!
gonna snooze...
bye bye!

oh my it's been ages since i updated...
hahaha... oh whatever...

well i got the HCD/VDS over and done with...
i think that the content is totaly crap...
the hard cover that i did was pretty cool though...
hmmm...
purple velvet... XD
wahhahaah...

then went for like...
training last week on wed...
i didnt go for session on tues...
cause i was rushing my contents...
daniel didnt come last week... :(
oh well...
hanafee taught us some stuff...
la da la da la...
after training went to rush
assignment for the 100th time...

and well my plan to do something
nice just completely blew up in my face...
AGAIN!
i give up...
i give up...
i'm sick of this...
why am i try so hard...?
no one appreciates anything i do...
it's completely depressing...


PICS FROM AVRIL'S CONCERT!!!!











I was SUUUUUUUUUUPER high after the concert
cause it was
COMPLETELY AWESOME!!! XD