I wanna watch the sunset with you...

posted on Saturday, January 31, 2009

i feel better today

i laughed it off

i'll be fine

i always am (:

TGI Reunion Dinner was 100% AWESOME!!!!

panick is fun... so fun...

it's like an addiction i have right now...

OMG...

rush here rush there....

i must thank these people for helping me

arrange the eisles in the DS studio today:

Cheryl from 02, Ash, Maki, Vencia, Leng Fei,

Brenda for your suggestions and Justin

for helping me with Epicentre and the

getting the tables thing...

i wanna thank Lim Kar Da Ge and everyone

else who were involved with the

photography exhibition and just everything...

the cleaning up and stuff like that....

and Charmaine for bringing the stuff

from T14 for me as fast as you could... (((:

doing all these things makes me feel

so involved, makes me feel alive,

it makes me feel that i live and not only exist

as an empty shell that will never be filled...

i am thankful for everyone around me...

i am thankful for my classmates,

my lecturers, my seniors, my family,

friends, relatives, coursemates, friends from

all over Singapore Poly, SDZ and dance...

i was missing any one of these, i won't be complete

and i would never have become the person that i am today...

i am jolly shandying and eating bee hoon...

gonna get more jolly shandy and deodorant later...

mann i stink really bad without deodorant... =O="

i'm hoping to find someone else at Timbre tmr night...

and hopefully i'll be over it by tmr night... *prays really hard*

in fact i am

already over it...

it's not hard to forgive but to forget.

absolut vodka ad, here i come...

the time is right;
{12:52 AM}

posted on Friday, January 30, 2009

Goodbye my almost lover,

Goodbye my hopeless dream.

I'm trying not to think about you,

Can't you just let me be.

So long my luckless romance,

My back is turned on you.

I should've known you'd bring me heartache.

Almost lovers always do.

FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!

ARGH...!!!!

Fuck it... I give up...

Now let's do DT, VDS, DS, and IDS/HCD

the time is right;
{1:11 AM}

posted on Thursday, January 22, 2009

i had an aweful week...

thank goodness it's Friday tomorrow...

things to complete by tmr: DT and possibly, my photojournal

i have to say that i haven't been planning

my time properly.

things are gonna clash with each other

and i have no idea how i'm going to deal with it.

i didn't do my comic last night due to physical exhaustion from training...

dancing keeps me happy and sometimes i'll

happily spend time dancing rather than doing my work...

but studies do come first no matter how

bitchy they seem to be and how much the course costs...

i could tell that my mum's fed up with

me always asking for money to buy

materials for my assignment...

i just told her that i spent about $30 for

my photojournal photos and

that she hadn't paid me back yet for the repair of my phone...

sometimes i really do wonder if i have

her 100% support doing what i want and what i love...

i wonder so often that i become

insecure and sometimes i'll even cry over it...

thinking, maybe i don't have her full support

and maybe she didn't even want me to take this course...

i wonder if she will go back on her words and

just... NOT give me that support that i need.

it's not that i don't want to find job.

i DO want to find a job.

sadly, i am not able to manage my time well enough

to be able to balance school and work and dance all at once...

i want to get a weekend job.

it's just hard to get a part time job anywhere these days...

if i do get a part time job, i may not be able to cope...

as in, i may physically wear myself out and be

tired all the time...

but why am i ranting about all of this?

there's no point because it doesn't help the situation...

i should cut down on spending.

like, don't eat so much.

but do i spend that much on food anymore?

doesn't feel like it.

just SUCKS man...

i should learn to stop complaining

and deal with it....

the time is right;
{9:16 PM}

posted on Wednesday, January 21, 2009

"My heart skipped a beat today, because I saw you.

It got caught in my throat, ready to jump out.

It felt all funny and tickelish.

I haven't felt like this in a while..."

i was late again, as usual for the 8am lesson... =.="

slept late doing photography and gems assignment...

like 2am early/late kind of timing...

no i haven't finished my comic...

handing in tmr instead cause i'm just too tired

to be rushing like mad...

maybe after training would be worst....

i just gotta deal with it...

things are coming together at last.

(with combined efforts)

i hope nothing else goes wrong...

*fingers crossed*

the time is right;
{11:26 AM}

posted on Tuesday, January 20, 2009

i wish this was us.

i think i'm a total bimbo at flash right now...

we've moved on to the advanced stuff...

like CODES and FORMULAS...

my brain don't work well with formulas anymore... T_T

all my A Math tuition gone to waste...

i ~~hate~~ don't like it when people don't come to class

or don't pay attention in class

and then complain about not being able to catch up

without even trying to put in that

bit of effort to ask others to help them,

or to learn how to do it themselves.

i'm sick and tired of it.

stop this ~~fuckedup~~ kind of attitude.

if you're not gonna put in effort

then just leave already.

if you don't like it, drop out and leave.

i can't be bothered anymore.

i'm sick and tired of doing things for people.

just because we're friends doesn't mean

that you can depend on me to do

every single ~~shit~~ thing for you

like make sure you got CD to burn

your stuff into,

make sure you got files to put your report in.

enough already.

the time is right;
{11:13 AM}

posted on Sunday, January 18, 2009

yeah this pictures is the from the series of

camwhoring during HCD lesson!!! hahahaa.....

yesterday was fun!!!

whoo!!! love girls' hip hop!!!

love the choreo that Brian taught us!!!

love the fact that everyone was dancing yesterday!!!

and also!!!

love the fact that i have such good people in my life!!!

after all the dancing...

we went to clubhouse

to see how my hard drive was doing...

while sha was recovering the files...

hanafi and sha sha right...?

they were looking through my photos and pictures and

had comments on almost all of them lah...

and they were laughing like crap man...

embarrassing!!! WTF...?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

ARGH.....

i wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it...

hahaha.....

but they were so nice to buy me a birthday cakecup/cupcake/muffin

hahahaha....

and sha sha tou pai wo!!!!

and hanafi sang a birthday song to me two times...

so sweet right? who knew hanafi could be so sweet?

hahahahahahhahaha....!!!!

in the end, i couldn't go home

cause i miss my last train and bus to anywhere

by the time the hard disk finished recovering whatever it could...

so i camped in school with Schizo, Charlotte and two of Schizo's friends....

we were at the Bagpipes clubhouse....

wah lao.... that room had aircon, tv, dvd player, couches, table, chair....

whooootss!!!!

hahahahahaha.... super cool....

i watched Chicago dvd that they had....

ok lah... the storyline is like.... haha... had not much meaning to it...

but the theatricals and everything were good... *two thumbs up*

i like broadway so yeah....

but i think hairspray is still better...

hahahaha...!!!! XDDDD

thanks Schizo and Charlotte for taking care of me!

they were really sweet, cool, dope people...

^_^ make sure that i was comfortable and settled in....

yeah, you don't find seniors like these

anywhere else other than SDZ!!!

alrighty then....

i'm gonna go and try to celebrate my birthday...

my mum wasn't too happy that i didnt come home last night....

oooOOoooOOO.....

the time is right;
{4:14 PM}

posted on Saturday, January 17, 2009

it's been a week since my external hard drive crashed....

hopefully sha sha will be able to give it back to me today...

OMG... so nervous...!!!

nervous that i won't be able to get my photos back...

and that i have to reshoot all the pictures all over again...

AND MY BEIJING PICTURES!!! T_T

anyway i cheered myself up by looking at these

pictures!!! XD

*points below*

see lah!

one by one all "Ai Mei"/vainpot

use my laptop webcam to take pictures...

hahahahaha!!!!!
OMG i missed those times mann...

and EDMOND!!!

you like MIA-ing lah...

sometimes i don't even see you online anymore... -.-"

you so busy with what?

hahahaha... just kidding lah!

and yeah i miss Nasha...

cause she's been sick and at home

and not coming to school the whole week...

even though i just saw her on thursday...

i still miss her company....

the darling never fails to make me laugh

or make me feel better... :DDD

Nasha dear, get well sooon!!!

i miss your company!!!

hahahaa...!!!!

nonono, i'm not love sick at all...

hahahaha....

i'm feeling better... loads better after

all the complaining to ppl and all that...

ooooh!!! guess what happened last night?

i missed my stop at sengkang and i ended up at punggol...

THE SECOND TIME THAT HAPPENED!!!

i was snoozing and forgot to check where i was....

*shakes head*

i ended up walking back to sengkang from punggol station...

cause i missed the last train and the bus back....

zzzZZZzzzZZZzz....

suay suay lah hor...?

i had a productive day yesterday...

the day started with me going for

studio wu's open house trial classes...

i took my cousin, Bryan's class... Waackin!!!!!

WHOOTS.... punk baby! punk!!! *two thumbs up*

i love it!!!! XDDD

i'm gonna ask my mum if i can join his class

as my birthday and Christmas present this year... (LOL)

and then i went back to school for HCD lesson

and learnt some stuff that we have to do for assignment...

*ahem* unlike someone who skipped class... *ahem ahem*

and then i got to train my leg muscles by walking home!!!

and burn some calories or fats

or whatever you call it... hahahaa... XDDD

waaah..!! tired!!!

and later i'm going for Khai's girls' hip hop

genre training in school!!!

waaah!!!!

then meeting nicole at 7pm at bugis MAC...

she's going sheesha with her friend Charmaine...

hahahaa....

and no i don't think i wanna do that anytime soon...

i'm just gonna sit and observe...

lols...

maybe go studio and kpo for awhile... =P

"there's nothing where it used to lie,

my conversation has run dry,

that's what's going on,

nothing's right i'm torn"

the time is right;
{12:09 PM}

posted on Thursday, January 15, 2009

it's nice to know that you were there,

thanks for acting like you cared,

making me feel like i was the only one.

it's nice to know we had it all,

thanks for watching as i fall,

letting me know that we were done.

i guess we just lost it.

i'm gonna follow Nasha to get her

materials for her photojournal after school today...

poor girl's so sick and she has a submission deadline to meet.

lucky our lecturer extended for her till tomorrow.

every morning, i'll wake up and feel like i've just ran 100km.

i have no idea why i'm feeling so tired everyday.

it can't be training cause i'm already used to it.

i'm not physically tired after training,

but rather mentally tired because

i've been churning out ideas for my

assignments non-stop since i started poly.

the upside is that it seems so much easier after

the 101 fruits assignment... hahaha...

thanks to mr lau... =P

i've decided not to brood over what happen.

once again i pick myself up

and decide to start afresh.

get back on track and stay there.

it's been a horrible start to year 2009.

but it gets better cause i'm turning 18 on Sunday!

i can drink legally, and i can go clubbing soon!

but i'm more excited about the drinking than the partying...

i need to stay positive and live my life

the way that i've always done.

not really caring about what others say about me.

not caring about what other people say about what i do,

when i do it and what i should do.

maybe a little if it's good advice.

i feel so much better after talking to Gen.

she's the best person to talk to in times like these...

thanks Gen, i love you! :)))

it's so much better to go with the flow and not expect anything at all.

it may seems super sucky to do so,

cause i'm doing it and it feels so sucky...

but i think it's the best way to go from here...

making pragmatic decisions is the new thing for me.

it may not be something i'd want to do,

but i have to do it because it's the best choice/decision there is to make.

profound much?

no not really.

just take it as being in a uniform group.

do pumping, marching, running.

not something everyone wants,

but it's the best way to get in shape. ;)

*all this time you were pretending*

*so much for my happy ending*

the time is right;
{11:45 AM}

posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2009

i never knew black and white photography

could be so impactful...

i have had enough.

enough already.

first my external hard drive,

second was my phone,

and now?

my freaking adidas watch!

the straps came off and i only managed

to recover one of the metal rods...

it was a gift that meant a lot to me.

it feels like my dog died,

that sense of loss and helplessness.

i really do like you.

my friends are telling me to let go,

because they feel that it's time...

let me know before it's too late...

let me know if you feel the same way...

i'm tired of all this crappiness in the world right now...

the only light of hope is that

Sha Sha would be able to retrieve the

information from that stupid external hard drive...

*i can't figure out how you stole my heart*

*my mind is gone, i'm spinning round*

*and deep inside, my tears i'll drown*

*i'm losing grip, what's happening*

*i stray from love, this is how i feel*

the time is right;
{10:03 PM}

posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2009

who in the world would feel better after

using the stress reduction kit?

i'm screwed, i'm screwed, i'm screwed,

i'm screwed, i'm screwed, i'm screwed

sooooooo SCEEEEEEE-RRRUUUUUU-EEDDDDD

FUCK

i feel like giving up....

the time is right;
{2:56 PM}

posted on Saturday, January 10, 2009

Life's screwed up for me right now...

my external hard drive's totally corrupted...

my photos for 500 shots are completely GONE...

i'm currently running a system scan

to see if i can salvage anything at all...

EVERYTHING'S GONE...

including my music, my assignments...

EVERYTHING...

videos, memories in the forms of pictures...

i just wanna say sorry to siu yun...

because she transferred quite a lot of

pictures into my hard drive...

and now that it's totally corrupted...

i can't think of a way to make it up to her...

all her hard work as well...

and sorry for today...

i think i gave you a hard time complaining

and being super emo and depressed when

we were supposed to have a fun photography trip...

i dunno what else to do but talk about it to someone...

i'm about to cry right now...

all my photos from Beijing are also gone...

my hard work's gone down the drain...

how am i supposed to take 500 reasonably good shots

by thursday and do my photojournal?

i find it almost impossible...

cause i don't have the help of anyone right now...

everyone's busy and they have got their own stuff to do...

by some miracle, and angel would come to me

and tell me what to do...

i'm feeling so desperate right now...

someone please make me feel better...

the time is right;
{11:27 PM}

posted on

Here is the result of all the tracing,

photographing, posing, dancing,

not sleeping,

not eating

and

not caring about what i do

as long as i get it done on time:

i submitted for myself and Nasha 3 minutes

late because of several factors:

1) Siu Yun

2) Sharing

3) Some other ppl

1) Siu Yun because she took super long

to finish up her alphabets and numbers/symbols that

i had to wait till she finished,

wait for the bloody 21mb ++ file to transfer over

before going to print for myself and Nasha as well...

but never mind... friends are supposed to help

during the most crucial time... :)

2) Sharing because there were 5-10 ppl sharing

ONE long ruler to cut the mounting board and etc...

and that ONE long ruler was MINE...

oh and also... not to mention the 2 cutting mats

that the whole of DCMD was sharing yesterday...

=O="

3) Some other ppl because (i shall not mention names)

we had to wait for them to buy

food, pay for the printing, buy

the freaking mounting board

before going back to school to mount and submit...

all i had to do was mount and cut for two people...

myself and Nasha...

and it was so difficult to get it done

because i was being too nice...

i dunno lah...

i think that when i help other people,

i only end up creating more problems for myself...

CONCLUSION:

what goes around does not come around...

maybe it does and in different ways...

i can go back to being optimistic

and change my mentality and mindset again...

maybe it's for the better...

and maybe i should be blocking

out other influences again...

hmmmm.....

well today passed reali quickly for me...

met up with clara at Serangoon Central Mac's

and i had hotcakes and sausage!!! (yummy!)

after that i went to school waaay early

because i promised Nasha that

i'd be there to watch her model...

she looked like the hottest person

among all the models man!!!

and OMG the guys were dressed

SOOO GAAAYY!!!!

and no, i shall not embarass them

by putting up the photos...

i fell asleep in HCD because i was just so tired...

consulted Miss Shirlynn on my

photog assignment...

turns out that i can take pretty good pictures

with like lights... night shots...

after that i hung around t14...

then went to moberly...

SDZ was having the New Year's Party...

but i left in the end to meet

Ash, Chessa, Makiyo and Siu Yun

for a night photoshoot around

Tiong Bahru...

got some pretty good shots....

considering i didn't use a tripod

and the shutter speed was damn sloooww....

i didn't want to set higher ISO

cause there will be a lot of noise in the pictures...

and they cannot be completely removed with photoshop...

anyway i'm going off to bed now...

it's 1.27 on Saturday morning...

the time is right;
{1:08 AM}

posted on Monday, January 5, 2009

i think i'm way in over my head...

omg omg omg... *shakes head*

take it easy Shina...

you're just gonna get hurt and disappointed again...

i try not to think about it...

i really do try...

but it doesn't seem to be working...

i had an awesome photoshoot on

Saturday at sentosa with nasha and edmond!

some of the shots turned out great...

but i think i kinda screwed up the shots

by making them too dark...

i'm never making that mistake again...

had a lot of fun on Saturday!!!

thanks again Edmond!

and enjoy the biiiig picture!!!

frame it up eh? *winks*

i think i've got nothing better

to do than edit photos nowadays...

since the deadline is so bloody near...

and i haven't bloody chosen all of my

pictures yet...

i don't have enough pictures....

have to keep taking... editing... theme-ing them...

here's a sample of my photo editing skills

if i were to be doing and advertisement

for perfumes or brands... hahha...

by the way, the photos are not mine...

Courtesy of Edmond's friend...

DO NOT ASK

why i edited these photos...

the time is right;
{3:28 AM}

posted on Saturday, January 3, 2009

i'm just too lazy to arrange the pictures in order...

hahhaa...

we went for dinner at swensens to celebrate

Charmaine's birthday yesterday after IDS submission...

and oh boy did i have fantasic meal!!!

hahaa....

the company was awesome,

we laughed alot,

had a lotta fun!

we joked, talked, gossiped (psst!)

hahaha...

it was the best meal i've had in a while...

oh oh oh!

Badron and Charmaine were trying to tie a knot

with the stalk of the cherry with their tongues...

but i go there first!

hahahaha....

what does it mean if you are able

to tie that knot with your tongue?

it simply means that you're a good french kisser!

(ahem...!!!)

ahhahaa.... alright alright...

here are the pictures!!!

oooh and check out our ice cream!!!

aahahh!!! heavenly!!!!

and we eat those with the cupcakes that

Badron baked for Charmaine... (aww... so sweet!! (: )

well if you don't believe that i can

tie that knot with my tongue,

here's proof!!! *points upwards*

heh heh heh....

OMG!!!! A tower of heavenly sinful goodness!!!!

not a very good picture...
but nevermind!
i love my class!!!

this is what Siu Yun had for dinner...
MAC AND CHEESE!!!!

and this is what I had for dinner...

HALF BBQ CHICKEN!!!!

WHOOTS!!!

IT WAS DELICIOUS!!!

alright i'm gonna get ready for photoshoot in a bit...

i'm gonna chiong my typo over this weekend

and my photography...

omg omg omg!!!!

gonna finish my assignments soon!!!

yayness!!!

then there's at least 2 weeks of

break before the end of year assignment...

zzzzZZZzzzzZZZ....

but i'm gonna work extra hard for it this time!!!

YEAH!!!

GAMBANTE EVERYONE!!!!

the time is right;
{9:15 AM}

posted on Friday, January 2, 2009

DAMN that flash assigment...

oh well i'm just about half done...

YAYNESS!!!

i spent the first day of 2009 sleeping,

eating, watching a bit of tv

and chatting online and

not reali doing my assignment...

i was still so tired after i slept

for like 11 hours??!!!!

i was woken up by siu yun calling me...

asking if she could come over to do her work...

hahahahaha...

in the end she took a nap on my bed

before going home for lunch... haha....

i'm hungry now...

i'm thinking of him now...

i'm still missing him

even though i'll be seeing him soon...

ARGH!!!!

!#$#^_^&*)#%)@

DO FLASH!!!!

the time is right;
{3:15 AM}