sometimes i just feel like there's nothing for me to be happy about...
okay... maybe happy to be alive and be able to do what i like...
but i haven't really found my purpose here...
maybe i should have already found a purpose cause i'm 18...
i wish i was younger... like...
back in sec school when there were no worries at all...
i only needed to worry about getting my homework done on time
and how to teach my Girl Guide juniors footdrill... and how to scold them...
so carefree... those were the times...
i feel like going back to study for O levels again...
trust me, O levels are a piece of cake... it's not scary at all...

what's scary to me now, is that i have no direction whatsoever...
i have too many loves and interests... i dunno what i want anymore...
design is a must that i have to do, and it's something that i want to do...
i'm just wondering if i can push the boundaries and do more things...
like i want to be able to play the guitar, the piano...
and i want to be able to dance as a professional...
it's possible but i don't know if i have the ability and
endurance to overcome every obstacle that comes my way...

i do think 3 times before i say anything
unless it was in the spur of the moment
that i felt truly hurt and my emotions just got the best of me...

i'm such a loser.
i think even SHE's better than me.
well she's got someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with her...
*shakes head*
i'm not sad about being single.
in fact i don't even want a bf anymore.
i'm better off on my own for the rest of my life...
i can travel, i can party, i can drink and get drunk,
what's not to like about being single, am i right?

i'm trying to be happy. is that so wrong?