today was pretty okay... kind tired though... *grumbles*
i was supposed to meet aihui in the wee hours of the morning for dance practise...
in the end i pang seh her... i feel kinda bad though.... :(
i dunno if she went to school to practise with the modern dancers anyway...
URGH...!!!

i dunno what to think anymore...
today was like "super wake-the-hell-up" day for me...
so FINE... i don't know how to properly put on make up...
SO WHAT?!
it doesn't make sense that some people think that every girl
should wear make up just because she can...
so you don't find me as mature as i should be,
compared to another person a year younger than me...
or persons younger than me by a couple of years...
SO WHAT?!
i can't be myself around some people because they
would want to hint here and there,
telling me that i should be this way just because
a girl should/supposed to/must do all these things to be a proper lady...

for the first time in a very and extremely long time,
today, i felt that i was utterly UGLY and uncivilized...
amongst all the girls who were petite, well mannered,
sweet looking, demure and all things pretty and coy,
i felt like the thorn among the roses... and YES, i mean even among the guys...
i felt so unrefined, raw, vulnerable, helpless and insignificant in that world now...

today was not a good day.
tomorrow will better cause i'll be partying my ass off at ROMPE @ ZOUK...
with SDZ (those who are coming down anyway) and i might meet Nikki there,
so it will be totally cool, fun and i can just party and drink till i drop dead! XD

my friend "low self-esteem" has come back...
and so has "fear", "depression", and "anger"...
i don't need all these in my life right now...
seriously... i'm supposed to be happy during my holidays...

I NEED ANOTHER HUG!!! :(